Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Last night I did something I haven't done in a very long time. I sang solo. Yep, totally alone. I emphasize that because I have sang with a praise team, in the background recently. But there's something a whole lot scarier about me singing solo. I've never been very confident about my solo singing ability, but with recent health issues that affected me vocally, I have been even less confident. So for me to do this was a very big deal. I think it may have been less scary if I had a band up there with me. In the praise team I have always relied on a leader and the band to cover me if I messed up. That alone offered some comfort. But alone you have no covering. Your every flaw, your every mess up is yours and yours alone.
When I was asked to sing I must admit that I probably did it more to please my husband than because I wanted to do it. And while I don't generally advocate doing something to please people, I will say that sometimes me wanting to please people may work to my advantage. In fact, it may be the catalyst to get me to step out and do what God wants me to do-if that makes any sense. As I stepped up to sing, the nerves were going crazy. I kind of felt like a deer in the headlights. Like, "what am I going to do now?" Normally, I would have someone with me that could help to ease my nervousness. But I didn't have my usual cheerleaders with me. No husband to look to, no close personal friends. I was out there on my own. My only option was to sing. And to sing in a state of discomfort.
Stepping out of our comfort zone can be extremely difficult. But staying in the comfort zone can be damaging. It can keep us held in bondage to fear. It can lead to a state of complacency and stagnancy that will effect you spiritually. Have you ever seen a pond or lake where the water wasn't freely flowing? Bacteria and algae can build up and that can cause major problems and put people at risk if they swim there. It can also breed mosquitoes, which carry disease. So how am I relating this to stepping out of our comfort zone? Well, when we get this false sense of security by staying in a certain situation (stagnant), it can lead us to a place where our trust of God is in question. Our fear of the unknown overshadows our confidence in God. If we can't trust him to meet us in those situations where we must step out of what is comfortable, how can we trust him in other areas? This is like a bacteria that grows. The more it spreads, the more it effects our lives and spiritual health. God never said that following Him would be easy. In fact, it may even be life threatening. Look at those men in the Bible who suffered greatly, even to the point of death doing what God called them to do. I am certain that wasn't in their comfort zone. But their desire to please God and do His will outweighed any fear for their own safety.
I won't lie and say that I thought my singing was as good as it ever has been. But I took the leap of faith and stepped out and did it afraid. I trusted God to get me through it. And He did.
When I was asked to sing I must admit that I probably did it more to please my husband than because I wanted to do it. And while I don't generally advocate doing something to please people, I will say that sometimes me wanting to please people may work to my advantage. In fact, it may be the catalyst to get me to step out and do what God wants me to do-if that makes any sense. As I stepped up to sing, the nerves were going crazy. I kind of felt like a deer in the headlights. Like, "what am I going to do now?" Normally, I would have someone with me that could help to ease my nervousness. But I didn't have my usual cheerleaders with me. No husband to look to, no close personal friends. I was out there on my own. My only option was to sing. And to sing in a state of discomfort.
Stepping out of our comfort zone can be extremely difficult. But staying in the comfort zone can be damaging. It can keep us held in bondage to fear. It can lead to a state of complacency and stagnancy that will effect you spiritually. Have you ever seen a pond or lake where the water wasn't freely flowing? Bacteria and algae can build up and that can cause major problems and put people at risk if they swim there. It can also breed mosquitoes, which carry disease. So how am I relating this to stepping out of our comfort zone? Well, when we get this false sense of security by staying in a certain situation (stagnant), it can lead us to a place where our trust of God is in question. Our fear of the unknown overshadows our confidence in God. If we can't trust him to meet us in those situations where we must step out of what is comfortable, how can we trust him in other areas? This is like a bacteria that grows. The more it spreads, the more it effects our lives and spiritual health. God never said that following Him would be easy. In fact, it may even be life threatening. Look at those men in the Bible who suffered greatly, even to the point of death doing what God called them to do. I am certain that wasn't in their comfort zone. But their desire to please God and do His will outweighed any fear for their own safety.
I won't lie and say that I thought my singing was as good as it ever has been. But I took the leap of faith and stepped out and did it afraid. I trusted God to get me through it. And He did.
Friday, July 19, 2013
I said there would be a part 2 about worship, and unfortunately I haven't been able to get back to this sooner. I have been preparing it, but had some things come up that distracted me. The most recent being 3 deaths this past week. Anyway, I will get around to posting another part as soon as I have a moment to reflect on it all. For now, I just want to share some things that have occurred during worship services in my past.
There was a service many years ago where I was singing with a friend of mine and my husband was playing drums. The music was playing and the presence of God felt so strong. My friend who was leading stopped singing and it was just music playing. I looked out toward the congregation and saw a woman weeping in the back. She was calling out as if in prayer. All of a sudden I felt a prompting to sing. I battled that feeling because I was afraid it was just my flesh. So this argument was going on inside of me. Eventually I came to a place of believing that it was God and even though I had just one line to sing, I had to do it. So I opened my mouth and sang the words that were flooding my thoughts. Immediately after that line another line came, and another, and another. After service the woman who had been standing at the back weeping came up to me and thanked me for listening to God and singing those words. It was an answer to her prayer.
At another service I was going to sing a solo after the praise team went down. I was on the praise team so I stayed up front when it was time to go down. As I stood there waiting to sing I felt like God wanted me to say something. The pastor was speaking something to the congregation and I was looking out and saw this clock on the back wall. Worship had went pretty long and now the pastor was speaking a fairly long time while I waited. After the pastor was finished I walked up to the platform to sing my special. Being that so much time had passed I was worried about speaking the entire message that had been laid upon my heart so I just spoke a portion of it. I then sang my song and went and sat down. The pastor preached the message and at the very end of her message said that she felt a strong prompting to say something in closing. As she spoke the words I had this horrible feeling come over me when I realized they were the very words I had felt I was supposed to say earlier.
At one service the praise team was up leading when the pastor decided to call those going to youth camp up front for prayer. The music was still playing, but the team had stopped singing. Since I was one of the adults going with those teens I was also called to come forward for prayer. Standing in this line across the room waiting for the pastor to walk by and lay hands on each of us, I kept thinking about me wearing this pink dress. I didn't want to fall out as many had done. So I said a little prayer in my head, "Lord, don't let me fall out." The pastor came up to me, laid hands on me and prayed, then moved onto the next person. I was relieved that I didn't fall out. All of a sudden I felt a hand on my head and a power so strong I fell to the floor. I don't know if that was God's way of showing me who was in control, but it was indeed a lesson for me. Never assume to tell God how you want things to happen during a service.
During one of the worst storms ever we were at a church revival. We had an amazing guest worship leader that year. He was also going to be our speaker. As we were singing the lights went out. But that didn't stop him from continuing with worship. After the music was over he started speaking his message (yes, the power was still off at this point. We were running on generators.) When he got to a part that talked about letting there be light, the power flicked back on, almost as if on cue. As he was concluding he asked for those with a specific need to come forward for prayer. My husband wanted to go up but felt a little uneasy about that kind of stuff so he asked me to go with him. He wrapped his arm around mine and we went up. This was one of those lines where the minister walks down the line laying hands on people and many times they may fall out. My husband is not generally one who falls out when someone prays over him. He doesn't get overly emotional and isn't one whose hyped into acting like everyone else around him. Anyway, as the minister walked over to pray for us he raised his hand toward us. Without ever touching either of us we both fell to the ground, arm in arm. I tell you this, not because I think every time someone prays you are going to fall out, but to reinforce the fact that we are not in control. God can and will move however he sees fit.
These are just a few of the many incidents that I've experienced over the years. In one service I stepped out in faith and did what I felt God was leading me to do. In another, I missed it. But even though I missed it, God still got the message out. When we are worshiping and attentive to the leading of the Spirit, we may be used in ways that seem uncomfortable or out of the ordinary. It takes faith to trust that voice. We have the potential of missing it if we do or missing it if we don't. The latter is by far the worst option, I'd say. If we miss it when we step out, there is always a pastor or worship leader there to correct it. But let me say this: In both instances where I felt led to do something I had the full authority of the pastors and worship leaders to follow wherever I felt God leading me. Had I not been given that freedom, I would not have just assumed I could step out and say something without first clearing it with those in leadership.
All that being said, let me add this: I have been to many services where nothing "spectacular" happened to me. But you know, those things don't really matter. Worship is not about what I may or may not experience. Anytime I am in God's presence expressing my devotion to him, and worshiping him for who he is, it's a good day.
There was a service many years ago where I was singing with a friend of mine and my husband was playing drums. The music was playing and the presence of God felt so strong. My friend who was leading stopped singing and it was just music playing. I looked out toward the congregation and saw a woman weeping in the back. She was calling out as if in prayer. All of a sudden I felt a prompting to sing. I battled that feeling because I was afraid it was just my flesh. So this argument was going on inside of me. Eventually I came to a place of believing that it was God and even though I had just one line to sing, I had to do it. So I opened my mouth and sang the words that were flooding my thoughts. Immediately after that line another line came, and another, and another. After service the woman who had been standing at the back weeping came up to me and thanked me for listening to God and singing those words. It was an answer to her prayer.
At another service I was going to sing a solo after the praise team went down. I was on the praise team so I stayed up front when it was time to go down. As I stood there waiting to sing I felt like God wanted me to say something. The pastor was speaking something to the congregation and I was looking out and saw this clock on the back wall. Worship had went pretty long and now the pastor was speaking a fairly long time while I waited. After the pastor was finished I walked up to the platform to sing my special. Being that so much time had passed I was worried about speaking the entire message that had been laid upon my heart so I just spoke a portion of it. I then sang my song and went and sat down. The pastor preached the message and at the very end of her message said that she felt a strong prompting to say something in closing. As she spoke the words I had this horrible feeling come over me when I realized they were the very words I had felt I was supposed to say earlier.
At one service the praise team was up leading when the pastor decided to call those going to youth camp up front for prayer. The music was still playing, but the team had stopped singing. Since I was one of the adults going with those teens I was also called to come forward for prayer. Standing in this line across the room waiting for the pastor to walk by and lay hands on each of us, I kept thinking about me wearing this pink dress. I didn't want to fall out as many had done. So I said a little prayer in my head, "Lord, don't let me fall out." The pastor came up to me, laid hands on me and prayed, then moved onto the next person. I was relieved that I didn't fall out. All of a sudden I felt a hand on my head and a power so strong I fell to the floor. I don't know if that was God's way of showing me who was in control, but it was indeed a lesson for me. Never assume to tell God how you want things to happen during a service.
During one of the worst storms ever we were at a church revival. We had an amazing guest worship leader that year. He was also going to be our speaker. As we were singing the lights went out. But that didn't stop him from continuing with worship. After the music was over he started speaking his message (yes, the power was still off at this point. We were running on generators.) When he got to a part that talked about letting there be light, the power flicked back on, almost as if on cue. As he was concluding he asked for those with a specific need to come forward for prayer. My husband wanted to go up but felt a little uneasy about that kind of stuff so he asked me to go with him. He wrapped his arm around mine and we went up. This was one of those lines where the minister walks down the line laying hands on people and many times they may fall out. My husband is not generally one who falls out when someone prays over him. He doesn't get overly emotional and isn't one whose hyped into acting like everyone else around him. Anyway, as the minister walked over to pray for us he raised his hand toward us. Without ever touching either of us we both fell to the ground, arm in arm. I tell you this, not because I think every time someone prays you are going to fall out, but to reinforce the fact that we are not in control. God can and will move however he sees fit.
These are just a few of the many incidents that I've experienced over the years. In one service I stepped out in faith and did what I felt God was leading me to do. In another, I missed it. But even though I missed it, God still got the message out. When we are worshiping and attentive to the leading of the Spirit, we may be used in ways that seem uncomfortable or out of the ordinary. It takes faith to trust that voice. We have the potential of missing it if we do or missing it if we don't. The latter is by far the worst option, I'd say. If we miss it when we step out, there is always a pastor or worship leader there to correct it. But let me say this: In both instances where I felt led to do something I had the full authority of the pastors and worship leaders to follow wherever I felt God leading me. Had I not been given that freedom, I would not have just assumed I could step out and say something without first clearing it with those in leadership.
All that being said, let me add this: I have been to many services where nothing "spectacular" happened to me. But you know, those things don't really matter. Worship is not about what I may or may not experience. Anytime I am in God's presence expressing my devotion to him, and worshiping him for who he is, it's a good day.
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